Mental Health Services Sucks

Last Friday night a family member of mine was hit by a car while the driver was talking on a cell phone. A witness claims the driver was losing control as she was attempting to manipulate her car and her cell phone; ultimately hitting my family member.

Unfortunately she hit a man who is mentally ill. He lives in a boarding home which isn’t a suitable living arrangement for him because there are no personal residential beds available for a mentally ill person.

He sustained a fractured vertebra in the neck, several broken bones on his cheeks and nose, and a large gash on his forehead which caused a concussion.

I was an advocate for my son for many years helping him to get the best services available. Fortunately for me, services for the developmentally delayed/physically challenged was available, requiring a lot of knocking down barriers, but accessible. I advocated for my family member, trying to get him the best services. I faced one barrier after another only to be forced to place him in an unsupervised boarding home.

Our family member was acclimating to his unsatisfactory environment the best he could before he was brutally run down. He is scheduled to be discharged from the hospital and should be placed in a rehab facility but he isn’t eligible to be admitted to one because he is mentally ill. This sucks!!

This is real discrimination. It isn’t his fault he is mentally ill. He isn’t violent. He is a 55 year old man who deserves the right to receive appropriate care after a very traumatic injury. He also needs residential personal care in an appropriate facility. His mental capacity is worsening as he is getting older and he needs supervision to protect him from himself.

FACEBOOK LIVE SERIES

This week I began Chapter one of my weekly FB Live series. I will be sharing details of my life with my son Jason. Jason was born in 1979 as a twin, two months premature. He developed a brain hemorrhage one week after birth which left him with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. The FB Live series will continue weekly on Thursdays at 2:00 pm EST.

This weeks video is posted here. I would be ever grateful if you would share my video so that it can reach those who need to hear my story. I lived through many years of fear and frustrations of the unknown. If I can reach parents today who are caring for a special needs child, just maybe I will provide some clarity along with my years of wisdom and experience.

Hugs

Jude

ANGER – HOW TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT- HOW TO MANAGE IT

How completely blessed I am to have found someone who has the ability to help me find my way back after many years of uncertainty. It was during our session yesterday when she helped me acknowledge, since 2006, after my son passed away, the deep anger I have so expertly hidden from the world and myself.

I have been channeling my anger in ways that were not mentally healthy and has created a tremendous strain in my life with my husband and son. The mind is a very complicated organ that can store details of life experiences that one cannot deal with. It cannot store it forever, it overflows and spills, exhibiting physical symptoms such as anxiety disorders.

She helps me realize the source of my anger. She encourages me to open up and acknowledge them and then find a way to deal with the anger issues. This is the only way I will heal. I need to turn my anger in a positive form so I can achieve peace within my heart and soul.

I know the only way to accomplish this for me is to pay it forward. The first step I took was writing my book, Our Special Child, Jason’s Story. In the book I spilled out my soul with every word. My emotions were real and in this book was the first time I expressed my feelings of anger and quickly tucked them away again because they hurt too much.

NOTE: Our Special Child, Jason’s Story is available to purchase on my website at http://www.scrapperjudedesigns.com.

I need to express them here in order to confront them and set up a plan to deal with them. I am angry about the lack of support I received when Jason was discharged after four months in the NICU unit. I am angry that Jason was abused at a respite center treating him like he wasn’t a real person, just another “physically/”retarded”child who deserved it; and getting away with their actions. I am angry at the misguided laws in 1986 where the only choice we had to secure excellent medical care was to agree to move our child, at the age of eight, away from his family.

I don’t know what changes have been made since 1986 but I promise you I will find out. I am now an advocate and I’m starting with the state of Pennsylvania traveling to our state capital next week. I am working with the Skills of Central Pa, the organization who provided the care for my son for twenty years.

Yes I am channeling my anger in a positive way so the appropriate changes are made.

Hugs Jude

Book Review of Our Special Child: Jason’s Story

http://alanamunroauthor.com/2015/04/24/book-review-our-special-child-by-judith-iris-quate/comment-page-1/#comment-37244

Alana from http://alanamunroauthor.com very graciously offered to review my book on her blog. She has a wonderful blog and I highly recommend you to check her blog and follow her reviews.

As a new author you know I was on pins and needles waiting for her review. I am aware this is a natural feeling for all authors and artists. My career as a writer and artist began five years ago. I am totally self taught. I devoted my entire life to my two sons. I am retired and now it is my turn. It is never too late to start a career at the age of 65???

Her review of my book was on the spot. I desperately tried writing this book with all the emotion I could find in my soul in order to get my feelings through. She recognized this and for that I am very happy.

I have a goal to take this book out to the early intervention programs and schedule book discussions with the young parents today who are just starting out caring for their special needs child.

For many years I took Jason to therapist, doctors, hospital visits, cerebral palsy clinics and had many discussions with social workers; however, I never once had a chance to talk with another mother who went through the same experience. I needed someone to mentor me, to help me through the days when I thought I would mentally fall apart.

This is my dream and my goal and I will work to open the doors to make this happen. I do not give up easily.

Virtual Hugs
Jude

Walk Out of Your Comfort Zone

I am relatively a very shy individual. Surprised?…yes I am as well.

As a child I was extremely self absorbed in my insecurities, lack of self esteem and very awkward with groups. I had a very supportive home life with my parents and my sister.  There was nothing in my life back then to cause me to act this way.  Because of this strange fault in my personality, my experience in grade school, middle school and especially in high school was awkward and very hard to deal with.  I had friends but never was able to keep them for long.  When I graduated high school, I wasn’t that girl who hung out with groups of friends attending dances or going to clubs.  I was lonely.  There was no one to blame but myself.  It was my awkward personality I was born with and I needed to overcome it someway.

My mother understood this fault in my personality.  Possibly I took after her and she saw herself in me.  She pushed me to join the USO back in 1968 to meet friends and learn how to interact with different people, both men and women.  I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and listened to my mother and joined the USO.

The USO was the beginning of my new life.  I met friends who are now my life long friends who I care very much for. I also met many different personalities of young men who needed my friendship.  They were away from home for the first time in their life and on their way to war.  I was someone they could talk to and provide some comfort before they went off to Vietnam.

When my twin boys were born, again I found myself having to change.  For the first time it wasn’t hard for me to step out of my comfort zone.  I was like a mother hen protecting her flock.  I would have done anything I needed to take care of my boys.  I would have jumped off a bridge if needed, to save my boys.  I set a standard as a mother who meant business and all professionals I had contact with, understood what made me tick and respected me as a mother who you did not full around with.

However, this wasn’t something I acquired immediately.  I needed to learn through mistakes, some crucial, in order to create the dynamic personality I needed in order to care for a special needs child.  For this reason, along with a few others, I wrote my book, Our Special Child:Jason’s Story.  I needed to document the trials and tribulations I went through in order to become the best advocate I needed to be for both of my boys.  I want young parents today to read my book and know they can follow my story and learn from it.  They also can be the best advocate for their special needs child as well; especially if you have the personality I had as explained above. You can overcome anything if you have the desire to.

I am still working through my shyness.  Last night I attended a social for the first time sponsored by a professional women’s organization I belong to.  There were 150 people at this social and I had to walk through the door and represent myself as a professional woman business owner and network with them.  I was apprehensive all day thinking about the event.  I was afraid to be the wall flower, standing alone and looking awkward.  I was stepping out of my comfort zone again….Yuck!  However, I put on my brave face and stepped into the “war zone”, so to speak, and I did great. Thankfully, the group and its members, are very inviting, friendly, outgoing and made me feel part of the posse with common interests and needs.  They did not allow me to be the wall flower I feared.

Note: To my readers in cyber world who were lucky enough to find my blog, let me give you a word of advise.  In order to help make yourself more comfortable with large groups, get involved.  I am the new treasurer of my group and I believe it helped me feel part of the central core as compared to being the outsider looking in.  Just a suggestion…

Have a great day friends

Virtual hugs from

Jude

A Parent’s Anguish Dealing with a Special Needs Child

I love to watch television and movies in my spare time. I am retired so I can manage my own time throughout the day. My television time is scheduled simultaneously at meals, late in the afternoon after a full day working in my studio, and in the early evening, after dinner and before I go to sleep. I enjoy knitting and crocheting while I watch television. This is my favorite time of the day, especially when my dog cuddles at my side. My family room is very warm and cozy and it makes me feel at peace.

This morning while I was enjoying my breakfast, I turned on the television and watched a show from my DVR. I tend to watch thrillers, police dramas and political satire. Today it was a police drama and I was getting into the concept of the show. Usually the show begins with a murder and then you observe the characters tend to their forensic duties to narrow down the main suspects. Today the victim was a young girl who had autism. Okay…this got my attention. The main suspect was a man with a history of child molestation. It appeared obvious he was the murderer? No, it couldn’t be, if so, there would be no real story and it was only fifteen minutes into the show. I had no idea who it was, but certainly was intrigued. Fast forward to the end….the murderer was her father.

Okay, you say, what was his motive? This is the premise of my blog post. The father was so overwhelmed with the care of his autistic child he couldn’t bear it any longer. His motive, as he related to the detectives, “she was having a fit, kicking and screaming at me. I couldn’t handle it any more and held her down with the blanket over her face to keep her from screaming out.” He continued, “I just needed her to stop screaming. I didn’t mean to kill her. It just happened.”

The tragedy of this story is the obvious lack of support to parents who are living with this every day. Yes, it is only a drama, but it is based on real, everyday life. There are many parents who are living with special needs children every day and feeling the pain this father obviously felt. The difference, I hope, they do not make the ultimate sacrifice this father did. What really hit me like a brick, were the last words the father said to the detective as they took him away in hand cuffs, “I might as well go to prison, I already was living in prison at home.” I have no sympathy for this father. You do not kill your own child because she had autism. However, being a mother of a special needs child, I can see and feel the pain this father was going through.

This is an issue many parents are dealing with. We have many very difficult issues facing us in this world today that need to be fixed. I would definitely put this one on the list, wouldn’t you?

Jude

Silent Tears

“A Strong Woman knows how to keep her life in line. With tears in her eyes, she still manages to say…I’m Fine!

Inspirational Mixed Media Painting

River of Tears by Eric Clapton

I am the strong woman in this quote. For many years I needed to be strong so I could stay in control. Staying in control was the defense mechanism I created within my soul so I could continue to advocate and care for my disabled son. However, I cried silent tears. I never cried at my mother’s, father’s or son’s funeral because I didn’t allow myself to do so. Again I cried silent tears.

On the outside everyone believed I was a very strong woman. “You are a wonderful mother and a very strong woman, I don’t know how you do it”, I heard. I cried silent tears. I still cry silent tears for the loved ones who passed away. I cry silent tears every day thinking about my son in heaven.

I can relate to Eric Clapton’s song, River of Tears. All of the silent tears I cried for many years are enough to fill a “river of tears.”

I create visual journal pages because the demon inside my soul taught me how to cry silent tears and I am going to get rid it through every page I create in my visual journal. It is my therapy. My subconscious is going to kick this demon out of my soul through my paintings. I am healing with every stroke I make. How refreshing!!

If you are living with something very painful, either mentally or physically, pick up a journal and write. Write your feelings down. Get them out of your head and on paper so you can see them. If you are creative, paint; use a visual journal for the same purpose. Don’t cry silent tears like I did for years; get your feelings out of your mind and on paper. It is the beginning of cleansing your soul from all the demons living there for years. GET THEM OUT!, otherwise you will develop a physical illness like I did.

I have anxiety. However, I am being treated and doing fine. My mind was filled with all my pent up frustrations,fears and pain, it overflowed its cup (so to speak).

Well I need to get off my soap box.

Best wishes dear friends…
Hugs
Jude

Two New Paintings Completed

I am busy this fall showing at local craft shows. I have three this month, two in November and two in December so far. In addition to the above I received the proof of my book which needs to be proofread again before it is finalized. With that being said I also visit the gym three days a week and babysit my grandchildren on Tuesday for 14 hours. Wooo….I am tired just thinking about it. Don’t let me fool you…I love every minute I spend with all my activities, especially my grandchildren.

Below are two completed paintings. I tried a new technique using tracing paper. I trace either a found image or an image from my sketch book and trace them. I collage the tracing paper with the image on the painting. What is cool about this technique is the tracing paper is so thin that when it is placed on the painting you can see the mixed media background through it. I really like how it turned out and definitely will be using this technique again.

I do not like my handwriting and I am always looking for a way to print my quotes without typing them. By using the tracing paper I can trace over the letters and it appears like I printed it. It also allows me to overlap images that really gives it a cool look.

Disability Awareness

Disability Awareness

Cool isn’t it?

I am hoping this fall will be a positive experience for me. I really want to spread the word about my inspiration paintings and the positive effects they can make in my community. Disability awareness is my priority along with equality and peace. Of course it would be nice to sell a painting or two. My inner critic needs to “shut up” and only one sale will do the job. 🙂

Have a great day
Hugs
Jude

Strong Women Fighting Unknown Battles

I painted this with a quote I feel truly passionate about. It was my life for many years.

I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor

Enjoy my dear followers!
Hugs from Jude

EQUALITY FOR ALL

BON JOVI – It’s My Life

In light of the lack of equality in our world today and in the USA especially, I created the above painting to show my feelings. This is the way I choose to express my inner feelings through my paintings. This is what I am all about.

I have strong feelings regarding equal rights to all.

Best Wishes to you,
Hugs
Jude