Memories of my Life with Jason

I use to love this time of year, preparing Thanksgiving dinner, planning and making lists for gifts for Hanukkah and Christmas, and our Hanukkah Party and New Years Eve celebrations. The malls all decorated with their lights and Christmas trees with Santa awaiting the next young child to sit on his lap. Years ago I loved to travel to downtown Philadelphia to watch the light show at Wanamaker’s Department Store and walk through the Christmas Toy Land in Lit Brothers Department store with my parents and sister; later on with my children.

Now they are all memories because Thanksgiving is not the same with many of my loving family members no longer with me. New Years Eve is not the same, I am lucky if I can keep my eyes open pass 10 pm. Both Wanamaker’s and Lit Brothers Department stores no longer exist but the store that now resides in the old Wanamaker building, still continues the tradition of the light show, and I am so grateful for the new generation to enjoy it.

For me, life tragically took away the brightness from this time of year because my mother and son both passed away in November and December. I try and participate in the holiday festivities with my son and grandchildren but it just is not the same. It will never be the same. However, I will always have my memories and this is a good thing.

In November of 2006 my son was admitted to the hospital for the last time. At this time, eight years ago, I was sitting by my son’s side, in the Intensive Care Unit, holding his hand. He developed aspirating double pneumonia and he was a very sick man. He knew I was with him and was comforted by my presence.

I would like to pay tribute to him now, through to the 22nd of December, to honor his memory and legacy of his life. I will share pictures of him from his earlier days, forward. This will end with a special tribute on December 22nd, the anniversary of his death.

I honor his life daily with my mixed media art business and this blog. I will soon launch a new Etsy.com store and a Facebook Store selling fiber creations, also inspired by what I learned from him. You will soon read about his story in my book which will be out sometime next year. His life needs to be honored in some way because he taught me so much about life, to see and feel the beauty in our world and within everyone souls. I want to share my inspiration with everyone which will create a legacy for him.

Jason’s Portrait
Eight Months Old 1980

I Believe/You Will Never Walk Alone – Barbara Streisand

Enjoy your weekend and shopping. I send virtual HUGS to all my friends and family.

Jude

Make Love, Not War…..

Louis Armstrong
A Wonderful World

 

I am compelled to write this post because of all the hatred in our world today.  I watch the news daily seeing all the murders in our cities and world, riots, terrorist attacks, racism and political drama.  I am sick of it.

I grew up in the 1960’s and experienced war for the first time.  I watched the men go off to war not knowing if they would return.  I watched the rioting in our streets on television related to racism and the Vietnam conflict. I, like most of us, was drawn to tears with the assassinations of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King. I myself experienced rioting at a nearby school in 1969.  I was escorted by the police, along with my fellow classmates, to the buses outside our school so that we can safely return home.  I didn’t quite understand it back then, being so young and inexperienced as well.

Today I am older and wiser, but I still don’t  get it, or better yet, I don’t want to get it.  I am embarrassed from the political bickering in Congress and the Senate.  I want to be the young child again back in the 1960’s asking for “Make love, not war.”

I am going to remind you through pictures that we have a beautiful world and we should cherish it.  The words from Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” says it all and we should never forget it.

I want the powers to be throughout our country and world to stop their childish bickering.  After I am no longer living in my troubled world, I hope my grandchildren and their children will experience the beauty of life and be safe without war, racism and politically child-like bickering.

This is my wish as we begin the 2014 holiday season and celebrate a new year with 2015.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends. I send you all virtual HUGS for peace, prosperity, and love…

Jude

Emotions

For most people this time of the year is full of happiness with both Thanksgiving and the Christmas and Hanukkah holiday season upon us. We gather with our family, exchange gifts, share in delicious traditional feasts and celebrate life and the beginning of hope for the upcoming new year.

There are other people who have no family to exchange gifts, enjoy a meal or have someone to celebrate the season with. I cannot imagine being alone during this time of year. I hope if you know someone who may be alone, ask them to join your family. I will.

For many years the holidays were full of excitement in my family. I traditionally hosted the Thanksgiving dinner at my house and always had a house full of people. I loved the preparation, cooking and the feeling of belonging.

We traditionally have a Hanukkah party. In the past I especially loved watching everyone open their gifts, especially the children with their eyes full of pleasure. The floor would be covered with wrapping paper, ribbon and opened boxes. Jason always became lost amongst the array of trash. When we found him, he would be laughing with joy.

The holidays are not the same in my family after losing many loving family members. I am sure this is the case in your families as well. I miss my parents and my in-laws. I also miss my brother-in- law who left us way too soon.

Today I received a reminder in the mail from the funeral parlor who arranged the burial of my dear Jason. They are reminding me that his Yahrzeit candle should be lit on December 23rd this year. In the Jewish religion we pay tribute to our close family with the lighting of a Yahrzeit candle on the anniversary of their death according to the Jewish calendar.

This harshly brought me back to reality. I just lit my mother’s candle last week. You see, loved ones even die during, what should be, a happy holiday season. My mom died a day before Thanksgiving in 1986, and my dear, sweet son died December 22, 2006.

I miss them so very much. I am grateful for my memories. I am also grateful I can share Jason’s life with the world in 2015, with my newly published book, Our Special Child-Jason’s Story.

I do have something to look forward to.

I am going to enjoy a Thanksgiving dinner at my son’s house with my grandchildren. I have no doubt my dear departed loved ones will be there in spirit.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. All my love,

Hugs from Jude

The Spoon Theory: Best Explanation EVER! (IMHO)

I found this brilliant post and was granted permission to reblog it. It is the best explanation of what is a disability I have found and I highly recommend you to read it.

My Message in a Bottle

A blog friend’s beautiful and important message and deserves to be shared.

idealisticrebel

To whomever finds my message:

I have filled this bottle with Love, Peace, Patience, Compassion, Empathy, Gratitude, Beauty, Forgiveness and Kindness.

I believe that when we sow the seed of these ideas with words and plant them in the soil of life and add water and sunlight, we can grow Peace.  Peace is the trunk of the Tree of Life.

If, every day, every person performed one Peaceful act, shared beauty with one other person, shared forgiveness with one who needs it, then we would have the beginnings of the Peace we need.

Everyday that you touch someone else with kindness, with compassion and peace, you make an imprint on their heart and on their soul that will gradual help them find their way to a life lived in peaceful harmony with everyone in the world.

This could erase racism, sexism, ageism, all forms of bigotry and the violence that comes…

View original post 221 more words

A Dog is a Best Friend Forever!!

This fall season I attempted to sell my paintings at local craft shows. I soon realized, after sitting several hours without any sales, craft shows are not the best venue for my art. Oh well, it is a learning experience. I received many comments such as, “how beautiful”, “I love your quotes” and “you are very talented.” I did not see it as a waste of time, however. I loved showing my work, meeting new people, sharing stories and networking with other talented craft artists.

I brought several art supplies with me to keep me busy. I worked in my visual journal. Many customers stopped at my table to watch me paint, and I loved when the children asked me questions about what I was doing. Below is a page from my visual journal I created last weekend at a craft show. Please enjoy the music selection as well.

Best Friends

You Stepped Into My Life – The Bee Gees

The quote is so meaningful to me. My dog Ali came into my life one year before Jason passed away. She somehow knew I was sad. Sitting at night was the worse time for me. She sat next to me on the sofa with her head on my leg to comfort me while I tried keeping my mind occupied watching television. She is my BFF. She is the only one in my life who gives me unconditional love.

For next year’s craft season starting in the fall, I will sell my knitting and crochet creations at craft fairs. I already started several projects and will continue to create throughout the winter, spring and summer so that I will have a large inventory built.

I live in Bucks County which is north of Philadelphia. There are several quaint towns nearby that cater to artists. During the spring and summer months they offer outside art fairs. I am going to buy a tent and set up my inspirational mixed media paintings at these venues. I hope this will prove to be profitable and hopefully help me give my creations the attention they deserve.

I wish you all a great day and be well please!!

Hugs to you all
Jude

What Veterans Day Means To Me

What does this day mean to me….

A day to mourn our young men and women who sacrificed their lives to help keep our shores safe from harm.

To thank our military who are currently serving to maintain our freedom.

To remember my father, father-in-law and uncles who served in World War II.

To thank my Uncle for his service in the Korean War.

To remember and be so grateful for all the men who served in Vietnam. I saw many young soldiers at USO gatherings the day before they left for war. I will never know if they returned.

To mourn the death of my loving brother-in-law who gave the ultimate sacrifice, 51 years after returning from Vietnam. He was not respected as a returning war veteran as he so deserved sacrificing his life for our country. It was determined after long suffering and ultimate death, he was exposed to agent orange and therefore was not treated appropriately. All the compensation will not bring him back to us.

It is a day to fix what is wrong in our country. It is my wish the new head of Veterans Affairs make the necessary changes in the agency to properly care for our returning veterans and there families and treat them with the dignity they so highly deserve.

This is what I am thinking about on this Veterans Day. May all our lost veterans rest in peace.

A Mother Knows What Her Child Does Not Say

A Mother Knows!!

Danny’s Song by Anne Murray

A Mother does know what her child does not say, it is called mother’s instinct. I had a very strong mother’s instinct. I knew when my son Michael was sick, depressed, upset or tired. I looked into his eyes and they told me everything I needed to know. He is now an adult with children of his own but I can still read his eyes. I will always have the mother’s instinct no matter how old he is.

For Jason, however, he was unable to communicate. I understood very early in his life how to communicate with him and how he communicated with me. For example, he was diagnosed to have apnea as an infant. This means he stopped breathing. When Jason finally came home after five months in the hospital, I used my mother’s instinct on him as well. After observing his apnea spells, I realized he was using it to get attention. He was holding his breath. Unfortunately for Jason, he held his breath so long, he was unable to start breathing again until he turned blue and fainted. When he reached this point he then started breathing again. He would recover and look at me. He got the attention he wanted.

When he was older, I was able to read his facial expressions along with his eyes. I would ask him a question and he would respond with either a smile, pout, frown, or tears, depending on what the situation was.

After a surgical procedure, I was invited to see him in the recovery room. I would ask him if he was in pain and he would look at me with tears in his eyes and a pout that extended down to his neck. This very clearly meant he was scared and was experiencing pain. The nurses would give him pain medication, and after a few minutes, he smiled at me and fell asleep.

Jason and I had a special connection with communication. He depended on me even more because I was able to understand him. It was the greatest gift I could give him and I was honored to be his communicator.

I only wished he could have found a way to tell me he was leaving me for a better place. I had a hard time accepting his decision to enter heaven’s door without saying goodbye. I finally realized he needed to do it his way.

Best wish my friends,
Hugs….Jude

Take Care Of Your Soul

This painting is dedicated to all women who work a thirty-five hour day or more. This includes one who works a full time job and comes home to work another full time job as a wife and mother. Right… I am referring to you dear woman. I was this woman at one time.

The painting is a gift to you to remind you to “Take Time To Do What Makes Your Soul Happy.”

It doesn’t matter what you do or how long you schedule for yourself, just take the time . Your inner soul will thank you.

Today’s women take on too much. Yes, I get it. You don’t have a choice. I understand. All I am asking of you is to find some alone time for a few minutes each day. You will see a difference.

Best wishes to all of you dear friends,

Hugs
Jude