Ten Years Later

I just finished watching Sunday Morning on CBS. A majority of today’s show was dedicated to the remembrance of the devastation of Katrina that hit New Orleans hard ten years ago yesterday.

Millions of dollars were raised and used to rebuild the infrastructure of the city, rebuilding the stadium, high rise office buildings, a beautiful high tech hospital and new schools; however, it appears the money provided to rebuild all of New Orleans was distributed unfairly, full of loop holes and red tape.

The portion of the documentary made it clear to me, the powers to be who distributed the funds to rebuild houses were discriminating. Houses similarly structured in white neighborhoods were rebuilt with funds from insurance and government grants. However, the same structured-type houses before Katrina, were under valued based on demographics of the neighborhood before Katrina. The people in the poorer neighborhoods are still without houses.

Please watch the YouTube piece I found. This clearly demonstrates the problems and discrimination some New Orleans neighborhoods are experiencing. I am not surprised, this is happening all over our country demonstrated by recent violence in our cities.

I feel we are going backwards in our country related to discrimination. I am a firm believer of equality to all regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation and disabilities. Come on people….we all are the same in our souls and hearts.

CAN ONE BE HAPPY IN LOVE?

An interesting question and one I believe needs to be evaluated further.

In many cultures and religions, couples meet for the first time on their wedding day. Their parents negotiate and make the match for their union. This tradition has been followed for many years and the children understand and accept it as part of their beliefs. I would like to believe they learn to embrace the tradition and hopefully with time, love develops in their union. However, I hope they are happy in love.

I wonder at what age do we really have the concept of what true love is. A couple who meets and marries very young, are they mature enough to understand the meaning of real love. What will happen to their love if they unfortunately are challenged with unexpected tragedy? Will they be happy in love?

What is real love? Is real love only portrayed in movies or novels? I want to believe there are many couples who experience real love. I want to believe they meet at a young age, not yet matured enough to understand real love, but found it after many years together and it grows to be true love. They are happy in love.

Of course there is true unconditional love a dog will share with their owners. Humans need to learn from dogs and how they truly express love. There is nothing more gratifying then the unconditional love a dog shares with their owner.

Unfortunately, there are marriages that may begin with mutual love but for some reason, the mutual love they believed they had, was built on nothing but misunderstandings, personality changes which leads to some type of abuse.

To summarize and clarify, simply, love is hard work. If you really believe in love, work hard in your relationship, respect each other, honor each other and just maybe you will experience happiness in love.

A Special Book About A Special Child

Jax Jillian, Author

Whenever I meet a fellow Tate Publishing author, I always want to be of any help and support towards their success as I can be.  This lovely author, Judith Quate, pours out her heart and soul into her novel, Our Special Child:  Jason’s Story.  To allow yourself to be so vulnerable and let strangers into the most personal and intimate details of your life takes a lot of courage.  Please take a closer look.

What would you do if suddenly you are presented with a diagnosis for your child of spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy?  Would you scream and run out of the room? Would you contemplate walking away from a reality you cannot accept and just run as far as you can; or would you do what this young mother did, accept the devastating news and figure out what you need to do to help your child.

Our Special…

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A Day at the Park

What a beautiful day to go for a ride.  The window is open just a bit for me to feel the warm sunshine on my face and the window is adjusted just right enough to control the wind from hitting me directly.  I am excited to know where we are going.  Normally I don’t care because I love adventures, they never disappoint me.  I overheard the staff talking yesterday among themselves, something about how we all are going to be excited for our day trip tomorrow.  Did I say I love adventures?

The van is slowing down, stopping at a building.  Mary, who is the designated driver for today’s trip, handed a paper to the person in the window and off we went over to the parking lot to park the van.  I wait patiently while my friends are taken one at a time over to the ramp to be lowered to the ground.  

We are all unloaded now sitting in our wheelchairs.  I wonder where we are.  I see trees, grass and many people heading towards an entrance.  I can see beyond the entrance and there are many different objects, some small, round, square and something that looks like train rails.  This object appears to be very large in places like mountains and then it drops down sharply and lands in water.  Wow….that really is interesting and I hope someone takes me to the entrance soon so I can get a better look.

Jerry is in charge of wheeling me.  He whispers in my ear and says, “just you wait Jason, I have a special surprise for you.”  He now has my full attention because Jerry is a cool cat.  He once ran with me down the hallway of my building and let me go at the top of the ramp, and off I went.  I laughed so hard I believe I wet my pants.  Unfortunately for Jerry, his supervisor wasn’t at all happy with him.  

Anyway, Jerry is now wheeling me through the gate at the entrance of the park.  I am anticipating something fun and exciting.  Now that you know Jerry, you can believe he has something special for me.

Jerry walks over to another staff member, they talk for a few minutes and he returns and off we go on our own.  I see so many people, hear lots of noises sounding like happy people, laughing joyfully and screaming in delight.  I see so many different colors and objects that I never saw before.  Jerry whispers to me again, “You are going to have so much fun.”  Okay, I am now visually excited, my arms are getting tense.   I cannot control my spasticity.   Jerry really knows how to build excitement in me.

Suddenly we are at our destination.  We stop at the place I saw from the parking lot, you know, the thing that looks like a train rail up a mountain and extends down to, what looks like, a very large pool.  

Jerry appears to be having a slightly angry discussion with the person in charge of letting people enter this ride on the rail.  I hear the person telling Jerry I cannot go on this ride.  He says I am disabled and they cannot be responsible for me .  

After a few minutes another person arrives and again Jerry is talking with him.  I hear Jerry pleading with this person that I would love this ride and he will sit right in back of me and place the strap around both of us.  He assured him I will be in safe hands and continued to say he had no right to deny me the opportunity to have fun like a normal person.  

I am thinking how proud I am that someone wants to take me on a ride that only “normal ” people go on.  I think to myself, I am normal.  Because I sit in a wheelchair doesn’t make me any different than a normal person.  I know Jerry will make sure nothing happens to me.  He knows how to keep me safe.  Why can’t I do what “normal” people do.  I have feelings and needs.

It appears Jerry won the argument and the next thing I know Jerry lifts me up and places me in this box that looks like a boat, and he slips in right behind me.  We are strapped together and Jerry holds me tight, one arm around my chest and his other arm on my head.  Off we go, slowly up a large mountain in this box that looks like a boat.  Higher and higher we climb.  I am not afraid, I trust my friend Jerry.  

We reach the top, stop for a second or so, and down we go, really fast.  The wind is hitting my face, Jerry is holding me still when I begin to stiffen with the thrill of anticipation.  Jerry is screaming in my ear and I am screeching in delight as the boat-like -box splashes in the water and we both get wet.  I don’t care!  Jerry looks at me to see my reaction and he knows I loved it and want to go on this wet ride again and again.

A Perfect Day….

is a day when you wake up slowly, taking the time to allow your eyes to rid the haze, allowing your soul to return from the deep world of the unknown that placed you in the magical world of imagination.  You lay there quietly contemplating the dream you experienced.  You slowly begin to stretch your arms and legs carefully performing range of motion to each joint, one at a time.

You are awake and properly stretched, climb out of bed and look out the window to watch the sun slowly rising high in the sky with all its glorious beauty.  You feel the warmth of its shine and know it will be a warm day.  You scan around with your now awakened eyes to see the large trees surrounding your house and the bird nest sitting on the branch of the pine tree not far from your line of sight.  The mother bird is feeding her babies their morning nourishment.  Oh my, you see the neighbor’s dog wandering around the yard looking for his designated reserved spots to relieve himself.  You giggle thinking how obvious the spots are compared to the rest of the beautifully trimmed and well cared for grass.

You are now dressed and in the kitchen enjoying the aroma of the sizzling coffee pouring into your favorite mug.  You wander into the family room, turn the TV on and curl in the molded, favorite spot on the couch that fits you to perfection from its long worn life, sipping your coffee and feeling peaceful.

You are playing with buttons on the remote and maneuvering them from one show to another until you find the one you want to watch.  You pick up your electronic device, either an iPad, iPhone, tablet or laptop, to check the emails you may have received since the last time you read them.

 You finished your coffee, breakfast and are cleaning up the used dishes and return to your bedroom to wash up, dress, make the bed and then realize the hamper is full and you begin to load the washer.  Chores are always waiting to be done, but you realize they are part of your everyday life and they won’t get done on their own  However, you have planned them out so you can complete them throughout your week.

If you want to, you may go to the gym for a water aerobics class, work out on the treadmill or bike.  You may realize a workout at a gym or taking a long walk three times a week is hard but certainly healthy for your body, mind and soul.  It helps clear one’s mind of negative thoughts and negative people.

The TV announcer assured you earlier it will be a full sunny day, low 80s; perfect!!!  You may enjoy the warmth of the sun and the cool breeze on your face blowing your hair just slightly.  Yay, no humidity today.

So what are you going to do for the remainder of the day.  You may consider calling a friend to meet for a lunch date, or  enjoy a few hours working at a favorite hobby such as painting, drawing, knitting  or needlework.  You could  take a cold drink or another cup of coffee out on your deck,if you have one, and enjoy the newest book you were reading the previous night before your eyes became heavy with sleep.

So many choices.  No one to tell you what you should do.  So much freedom to do what you want, when you want and how you want.  No fears of loss of your personal freedom, idenity, space, loss of peace and most importantly, no controlling and fear of self worth.

This is certainly a perfect day…. If only???

The Origin of a Smile

Did you ever hear the expression, “your smile lights up a room?”  It is true.  There are some people who have that special smile.

People tend to smile for many reasons such as to mask a deep wounded soul only a smile could hide.  Robin Williams appeared to hide deep depression with his smile along with a great talent to make us laugh and express a smile.  He was extraordinary in his wit and charm to fool the world for so many years.  I will miss him and his ability to make his fans laugh in joy, if we only knew the real pain he was hiding behind his smile.

This makes me wonder what is hidden behind the masks of clowns.  They bring smiles to young children’s faces with their crazy antics in circuses and private parties blowing up balloons and making them into different shapes placing delightful smiles on children’s faces.  What is hiding behind their masks with painted on smiles?  Are they really happy people or do they hide deep, dark secrets within their souls?  

I have to believe not everyone who smiles genuinely is hiding anything behind their smile.  There really are people who want to smile with no preconceived purpose other than wanting to spread happiness for their own delight. There really are truly happy people around us every day; you only have to look into their eyes because they smile with their eyes as well.

The premise for this post is to tell you, my friends, my son learned to smile at an early age.  He developed his first cognitive skill, if he smiled at someone, he would get a smile in return.  Therefore, he smiled all the time because he loved the attention he would get.  He smiled with his eyes as well.  Some would say his smile did light up a room. He could have received a gold metal with his smile.

Later on in his life I realized it was getting harder for him to smile.  You see, he smiled through a lot of pain.  It was getting harder to hide his pain through his smile.  When he no longer had the strength to smile, I truly believe this is when he knew it was time to leave.

My Guardian Angel

My sweet child is working his magic again.  I am finding myself in situations totally out of my control.  I feel his presence with me all the time.  There are too many coincidences occurring in my life.  

Several months ago I found a Women’s Business Group formed for the purpose to support women in careers in business either as part of the corporate world or opening their own business.  

At that time I was struggling to create a brand with the qualities I had with my life experiences and my talent as a self taught painter and fabric artist.  I walked into this room by myself not really knowing why since I always struggled with shyness.  However, I strongly felt like someone was guiding me and I needed to follow.

I listened to the speaker for that month, awkwardly stayed after the meeting not knowing what to do but feeling the pull to stay.  I was told there will be a meeting after the speaker and anyone was invited to stay.  Again I found myself sitting around in the circle and joined the meeting.

To my surprise, again I had no preconception what I was doing, I walked away after the meeting finding  I had volunteered to be their treasurer.

Several months later after getting to know many of the wonderful members of this group, I gained so much knowledge, my self esteem is much improved and  my confidence is getting stronger each month.

If my sweet guardian angel didn’t guide me that day I would never had met Esther who has become a friend and a great trainer, teaching me how to tell my story as a motivational speaker and Molly, who is a very talented web builder and is helping me to build a powerful website.  Molly is a delightful woman with two beautiful children, working on building her business.  By helping me she is gaining experience.  It is a win win situation for all three of us, Esther, Molly and myself; we are women trying to make a mark in the business world competing with the opposite sex.

Now back to my guardian angel who appears to be working overtime these days.  I feel my life is changing again, I am not sure in what direction, but I am putting all my trust in him because he trusted me for 28 years.

A revelation

You  may have noticed changes in my blog both physical and content.  For example, I changed the name of my blog to Jude’s Inspirational Wisdom.  I believe it reflects the metamorphosis of my life since I retired five years ago.

For the past five years I truly believe I was in the process of finding who I was as a wife, mother, sister and friend. Something happened to me unconsciously controlling my every day actions, thoughts, motivations and mental health.  I was beginning to see myself in a different light, one who could be successful, loving, and a good friend.

If you are experiencing similar feelings of change like this, please stay with me and listen to what I have to say.  You just may find it very valuable to your future success.

Almost forty-four years ago the only ambitions I had at the time was to get married, work in a job I enjoyed and have children and live the rest of my life raising my children.  I was fantasizing the characters in Leave it to Beaver where life was perfect.  However, that was not reality. I was living in an unrealistic world.

On September 8, 1979 my unrealistic world changed to reality which hit me hard and almost knocked me over.  I had the choice to forge ahead or walk away.  Of course I took the correct road and this is when my unconscious self took over and slowly turned me into the person I really was born to be but didn’t know it.

Are you confused?  No worries, I will try and help you understand.

I was born with the gift of nurturing, caring, supporting and all the values one needs to care for a child with severe disabilities.  I thought my subconscious self came out of its hiding place and took over.  For many years I felt I was living outside of my body and acting like a bystander while my subconscious did its duties.

I get it now after two years in therapy.  I wasn’t living in a dream or through rose colored glasses outside my body, it was the real me.  I found myself on September, 1979 and only realizing it now.   My glasses are now very clear.  I see myself for the first time as an intelligent woman whose passions are very strong.  I believe in very strong issues that are cramming my mind trying to be verbalized in words, actions and speech.  I have a very strong itch that needs to be fixed, so to speak.

I want to share my wisdom of life with the world and help those who do not yet know who they are.  I want to share my beliefs in a diverse world and teach parents how to accept their fate and having to care for their precious special needs child.  There is so much I can share from my life experiences.

My book, Our Special Child:  Jason’s Story is about my life connection with my son.  This is the beginning of Jude’s Inspirational Wisdom.  I will share inspiration on this blog, in writing and through motivational speaking.  It is my destiny with my guardian angel by my side.

This book is available for $15.00, free shipping from my website 

http://www.scrapperjudedesigns.com