I DIDN’T HEAR THEIR CRIES

I DIDN’T HEAR THEIR CRIES

I hoped and prayed to give birth to a baby
with labor pains and precise breathing, this was my dream.
What happened was science intervention
an emergency C-section, no pain or quick breathing;
I find this to be very sad.

They were lifted out of my being, one at a time
and handed off to the waiting teams to care for their needs.
I laid their on the bed listening to the words being spoken,
praying I would hear the sounds, I was so anxiously hoping.

I laid in silence waiting to be moved
and asked my doctor, “how are my boys?”
In a very compassionate tone he responded, “they are in good hands.”
But doctor, “how could that be, I didn’t hear their cries.”
He looked at me with very sad eyes
and said, “dear we are fighting very hard to save their lives.”

I wrote this poem one day when I was feeling sorry for myself. I try not. I try not to dwell on the past but there are times I am reminded, hearing a song or watching a movie related to my sorrows.

It is okay to remember the bad times as long as they are tucked back into your heart and soul where they will be safe.

Much hugs,
Jude